December 1st, 2022 | RYAN TYLER

Tomorrow Always becomes now: Raise Strong Kids

Our children's tomorrow is our today. Their futures depend on what we do now.

One of the most common ways self-help gurus and philosophers get us to feel better is by encouraging us to "live in the now”. Thinking about the future causes needless stress and thinking about the past is a waste of time. I agree with the latter, but the first part is not something we should be teaching our kids. Unless you want your children to become lazy hippies, teaching them to prepare and plan for tomorrow is the right thing to do. Planning for the future should always come before living in the now.

Until you've sorted out the future, you shouldn't be putting all your energy into being happy now. Worrying about things you can't control, foresee, or prevent is never smart, but having a plan to deal with the things you can't control, foresee, or prevent is invaluable. If you don't have almost every what-if covered, you shouldn't be vacationing in Mexico and leaving your future self and children vulnerable to catastrophes. Unfortunately, every tomorrow becomes "now” and wasting the now equates to wasting tomorrow.

I'm not talking about being a mentally ill apocalypse prepper. I'm talking about being a reasonable, well-prepared adult that raises smart children.

I'm talking about having an emergency fund, either in investments, or in cash under your mattress. I'm talking about having a little bit of pasta, rice and canned goods stashed away in your basement; having your credit cards paid off; having your resume updated and ready at all times; having a few months worth of mortgage and rent payments set aside; keeping fit and healthy; getting firearms and self-defence training; and learning some basic survival skills.

Some of those things might sound crazy to ordinary Canadians, but they're fun to do. Rather than sitting around and watching movies with your kids, why not teach them some karate and take them to the shooting range? Go on a survivalist hike, go rock climbing, teach them about the money supply and show them how to change a tire. Girls or boys, it doesn't matter. Every young girl, especially, should be taught self-defence and basic survival skills. Watching Paw Patrol and playing with Barbies won't get them far enough.

We live in a world that was sculpted by Baby Boomers—the generation born between 1945 and 1964.

Baby Boomers are arguably the worst generation in history. We don't want to be like them. They effectively robbed their children and grand kids so they could live in their “now” and retire early. They gave themselves privileges and time at the expense of future generations, all while teaching their kids absolutely nothing of value. We call their kids Millennials. Boomers love to complain about them, but they've never taken a minute to look in the mirror and ask themselves who raised Millennials and Generation X.

Our now is our children's tomorrow. That's something most Boomers didn't live by.

If you're living today on borrowed money, vacationing in Mexico with debt and letting your kids sit in front of the television for most of the day, you're a fucking idiot. Unless you have their futures set up with valuable skills and preparedness, you've raised another generation of lazy morons that won't know how to rebuild a world that might—one day—need rebuilding. You've only earned the right to enjoy your now when you've planned your children's tomorrow. Until then, you're a selfish moron.

Nothing reeks of selfishness and complacency like a parent who knee-caps their children by not preparing them to live in a chaotic, unstable and relentless world.

When the rainbows fade and the butterflies die, your kids will be left helpless and ill-prepared for what comes next. Civilization runs in cycles and the cycle of post-war prosperity and privilege is ending. The time to learn new languages, acquire new skills and to build their mental faculties is now. If you don't know how to speak Mandarin, Russian or Spanish, the time to take up a new activity with your kids is now. If your hobby is sitting in front of the television, or if you can't afford certain things, the internet can be an excellent tool for learning. There aren't any excuses.

If your kids don't know how to fight when the time comes, someone else's kids will. Your kids will have a disadvantage they inherited from you. If they can't speak the new languages, fight the new fights, or put together a plan to deal with a changing world, they will lose and they will lose because of you. I promise you, the future won't give a flying fuck what your son's preferred pronoun is.

Now that we've gotten that cold truth out of the way, here are some things you should be doing as a responsible parent.

Stop Wasting Money

Did you take a trip to Mexico recently, on credit, instead of putting that money into a trust, an emergency fund or a new skill? That was probably a bad idea. If you've got all the skills you need and emergency funds set aside, it's probably fine. If you're retired and your kids are moved out, congratulations. We'll see how they fare in the next two decades with the skills you think you taught them.

Are toys a waste of money? Probably not. Anything that stimulates a child's mind and forces them to be creative is hardly a waste of time or money. For young kids, the right toys can be money well spent.

Every penny you spend on your credit card is money you pay back with interest and is, therefore, wasted. Any entitlement you take from the government, for yourself, is a debt your children and grandchildren will have to pay back with taxes. If you're taking a pension, child benefits or tax credits, at least you could invest some of it back into helping your kids develop new skills. Spend a few bucks on karate, child-parent activities and anything that might make your kids stronger and smarter. If you leave them with a big tax debt to pay for your freebies, with nothing to show for it, you're an asshole.

Turn Off The Television

Television rots the brain. I read and edited a great article right here that explains how television puts the brain into a type of hypnotic state that turns off critical thinking and imaginative processes. Only a couple hours a day could turn your kids into vegetables and meandering drones—like those people who believe everything they see on CNN and panic, on demand, when the authorities need them to.

Television also creates meaningless fads and is driven by corporate marketing. By putting your kids in front of the television, you're allowing them to fall prey to corporate gimmicks and proven propaganda techniques that have been tried and tested. If you want to learn more about how it works, there is a book called Propaganda, written by the master himself, Edward Bernays.

Even most movies aren't safe. I can't go as far as saying your kids shouldn't watch movies. Mine do and a lot of good movies have good messages, but there is also a lot of trash. Older Disney movies are fine, but the newer ones are terrible, with the exception of The Incredibles. There are some movies that you can tell are written by rogue writers and filmmakers trying to secretly subvert the hyper-liberal order of Hollywood with subtle messages that go against the grain. Find those movies and let your kids watch them.

Older movies from the 1980s and 90s work, too, like Ghostbusters and Groundhog Day.

Teach And Learn Self-Defence

Sending a daughter out into the world with no skills in combat or firearms is dumb and irresponsible. The parents who are anti-gun nuts will set their children up for failure in an increasingly more violent and divided world. The rapists will have guns, bigger muscles and bad intentions.

If you're an anti-gun nut, the least you could do is teach your daughters to roundhouse kick a weapon out of a rapist's hands and tear his balls off.

Boys need the same lessons and skills, because if it ever comes down to having to protect their families from criminals and invaders, they'll be ill-equipped with just their bare hands and no real skills. If the economy ever hits the gutter, there will be more stealing, looting and violent crime. Knowing how to defend oneself is a valuable skill. If you're like me and you were never taught those skills, don't let your kids grow up the same way. Enrol yourself and children in classes.

The old days are gone and things aren't going to be the same in twenty years.

Immunize Your Kids Against Indoctrination

Most of us won't be able to afford homeschooling with time or money, but if it ever becomes an option, choose it. For now, try to immunize your kids against what Elon Musk calls the “woke mind virus” and other things. You can do it by teaching them at an early age to say and repeat things like, “I'm a boy (or girl) forever” and “it's ok to ask questions”.

As they get older, you can start teaching them deeper concepts right before kindergarten.

Both my kids are ingrained with the idea that school will teach them some idiotic, unscientific stuff and that teachers only know math and spelling. Everything else is open for debate. Under no circumstances should they allow a teacher to talk to them about sex, or about unusual things related to “boys and girls” that they haven't been taught at home. If a teacher tries, they are not only required to challenge it, but to report it to me after school.

Teach your kids the difference between facts and opinions as early as possible. Make sure they understand that a teacher is fallible and not everything they are told is true. Making sure they know that most facts and opinions warrant scrutiny is paramount. Nothing is true unless it can be proven and if something doesn't make sense, they should ask questions until it does.

“Teachers know math and spelling, but some of them will try to teach you things they don't know much about. Don't believe everything they tell you, no matter how sure they think they are.”

It's a simple conversation we can all have multiple times until it becomes gospel. Have your children tell you what they learned in school every night at the dinner table, correct any errors, remind them that teachers often have silly opinions and that math and spelling are the only things that matter. They can focus on the more subjective stuff when they're old enough to think for themselves. Until then, everything is indoctrination and should be treated accordingly.

Will any of this work? Maybe. It might all depend on how persistent we are and how committed we are to getting ahead of what our kids are learning in school. It might get old, boring and repetitive, but if we don't keep doing it, it might not work. Some parents might get complacent and preoccupied with other life stresses, but consistency is one of the keys to success. Regardless, it won't be easy.

It's our half-hour talk at the dinner table against 5-6 hours of things being discussed in their classrooms.

Will some of this get our kids and ourselves “in trouble” with the schools? Probably. If you're worried about that, however, you're probably not up for the challenge of raising strong, smart and independent kids. If you're too lazy and timid to fight for your kids, you probably shouldn't have had any.

Don't Spoil Your Kids, Show Them Hardship

It's not easy competing with grandparents, or a spouse, when trying to stop your kids from being spoiled. Most grandparents are now Boomers and Generation X, so they grew up with historic privilege and Christmas gift-giving. If you let them, they'll infect your kids with their disease of excess and ignorance.

The excess of too many gifts at Christmas and candy treats before dinner will destroy most children and make them weak adults. All of us are weaker than previous generations because of how our Boomer parents raised us to think materialism is important. It isn't and most kids will start entering a depleted and more impoverished world than Boomers had. It'll serve them better if they start getting used to having less now.

Raising your kids to be ignorant of hardship and shortages is asinine and making them believe every Christmas will be joyous is wrong.

You don't need to deprive your kids, but setting limits is important. Showing them what Christmas looks like to less fortunate people is also important. Walk them through a bad neighbourhood, take them to a homeless shelter to volunteer and show them videos of other countries where excess and privilege are minimal. Set them up for the expectation that nothing lasts forever and that sometimes things will get bad. Hopefully they'll learn to be more mindful of certain realities and about how fortunate they have been.

Limiting materials and luxuries is probably the hardest thing to do with grandparents and a spouse that might not see as much value in limiting Christmas gifts, but it's worth a shot. If you can't set the limits you want, show your kids the real world as mentioned above. Volunteering at a shelter can be an invaluable experience, no matter what.

Make Them Better Versions Of Yourself

I want my kids to learn everything I was never taught. Growing up with a single mother and without a father, I missed out on a lot of lessons in self-discipline, hard work and motivation. My mom spent most of her time working, so I spent most of my time as a teen skipping school, sleeping in and smoking pot. I can't blame anyone, but I regret not having more positive and disciplinary influences in my life.

Teaching my kids to follow through with everything they start, push themselves further and to regulate their desires is my most important job. Raising my kids to be better versions of myself and to accomplish everything I couldn't would be my greatest achievement.

Parenting is the root of everything.