November 1st, 2022 | Grant johnson

Real Reasons For Canadians To Join The Military

Service offers countless, selfish opportunities and pay for young people.

Remembrance Day is approaching again and we’re supposed to remember our heroes who stopped Hitler from taking over Manitoba, or something. Scratch that, it goes back to World War One, the war to end all wars. You see, Archduke Franz Ferdinand (not the band) got assassinated by Serbians, so that meant 67,000 young Canadian men had to go die in Europe. Perhaps we can remember the more recent sacrifice of 158 Canadians in Afghanistan, who died trying to promote woke progressivism to yak-herding Islamic extremists with average IQs of 84.

How did that project turnout?

Forgive me for being jaded. I know my caustic take offends people, especially conservatives who like the comic-book version of history, but I can’t turn my brain off and pretend things aren’t the way they are. This doesn’t mean I’m anti-military either. You’re not reading a leftist, pacifist rant. In fact, I think now might actually be a great time for people to consider joining the military.

A guy I work with recently told me that both his sons are going to join the Air Force after they graduate from high school. He was quite proud, as he had joined the Navy straight out of high school and his sons were continuing the tradition of military service. I should mention that this guy is originally from Florida and joined the U.S. Navy, not the Canadian Navy. His sons will be heading to the U.S. in order to join the U.S. Air Force, not the Canadian Air Force.

I enthusiastically congratulated him and we talked about the experiences and opportunity that comes from joining those organizations. You can travel the world and seize educational and professional development in all sorts of directions… and you get paid to do it!

We know that the U.S. military is getting heavily infested with wokeness and the “War is a Racket” criticisms of U.S. imperialism have been around since forever, but on the plus side, the U.S. military is the biggest and strongest military apparatus the world has ever seen and for young people looking for a sense of global-trotting adventure, and skills development, you can’t ask for a better option.

What about Canada?

Jesse Kline of the National Post recently wrote this based article regarding the state of the Canadian military. It’s pretty much everything you’ve read before but more so. The military can’t recruit enough people to fill the roles that are open. Nobody wants to sign up. They don’t have the resources they need to do what’s asked of them. The three working submarines we have are garbage. The firearms are antique. Our CF18 jets from 1982 have dwindled in number from 138 to 76. Our arctic is basically undefended. Wokeness prevails. It’s pretty bleak. It’s always pretty bleak.

Here's the thing people have to accept: it’s never going to change.

For the entirety of my adult life the Canadian military has been in various stages of decline. There’s a boomer notion of Canada’s capabilities based on our out-sized contribution during World War 2, but those days are long gone and it’s time to just accept that our military is and always will be decorative.

So, if you’re a young Canadian that wants to be a kick-ass hero and fly a plane like Top Gun: Maverick or be an unstoppable action solider or a sailor on the high seas, I suggest you don’t join the Canadian military in order to do those things. We just don’t and can’t.

Historically, all militaries exploit the drive for heroism, duty and action that reside in the hearts of young men. The system then throws them into the maw of violence in order to make money or play geo-political games. If you’re a young reader go watch Born On The Fourth of July to get a taste of where military service can take you.

Nevertheless, many young guys with Hollywood dreams want to chase the action and if you’re going to go for it, why not join the U.K. military? The U.K. spends roughly three times as much on their military as does Canada, and this puts them in the top five worldwide. If you’re looking for top-level opportunities, with a country that takes itself seriously, heading to England should be a consideration.

Canadian citizens are members of the Commonwealth and as such are eligible to join the armed forces of Great Britain. You could fly an F-35 or sail in a blue water navy. Use guns that were made in this century!

However, if you are thinking a little more cynically, practically and selfishly, you can take advantage of what Canada is offering and maximize opportunities right here at home. With the current recruitment crunch that Canada is experiencing, there are plenty of paths for people to exploit if they can get past the infantile notion joining up in order to be a hero. The advantages to doing so with a reasoned and self-interested approach are many, but mostly…

1. They pay you an above-average wage to be there.

2. They will offer practical opportunities that can be applied in the civilian world.

3. They will pay for your education.

4. There is a sweet pension.

First of all, the pay is great. You always hear about the griping about low pay, but the true question is, “Compared to what?” If you are straight out of high school, you could be making up to $60,000 within a couple of years. How many 20-year-old people are hitting $60,000 a year?

You can pursue training that is applicable in the civilian world. I used to work with helicopter pilots and many of them were former military guys. They got their training in the Air Force for free. To get the same credentials and experience in the civilian world they would have to spend tens of thousands of dollars on tuition and flight time. Join the military and get these skills accomplished in a different way and for free!

The military will pay for your education. If you want to go to university or college, they’ll not only pay your tuition, but they’ll also pay you to go! Go learn to be a nurse or a chef or an engineer…for free! They demand a commitment after you graduate so you ply your skills inside the military for a period of time. Guaranteed employment with your degree or diploma. Not bad!

Pensions are extremely uncommon in the modern world. The military is one of the last bastions of earning a pensionable benefit. Take it!

The biggest downside to joining the military is running the risk of actually having to fight somewhere. You should never risk your life for your job, but luckily, the state of Canada’s military is such that we probably can’t deliver any sort of contribution to another foreign war right now anyway. Avoiding conflict situations should be a Canadian soldier’s first priority. Knowing what we know about the lack of support and neglect that Canada shows for the military, no one should ever put their life on the line out of some misguided sense of duty.

Get enlisted and get the training done, then pursue areas of opportunity that ensure you’ll never be near any fighting. Something like helicopter pilot comes with more risk, but for the foreseeable future we are incapable to doing anything anywhere that would result in harm. If conflict arises and it looks like Canada may get involved, that’s a perfect time to get enrolled in some post-secondary education. If going to war looks almost unavoidable, then it’s time to adopt a mental breakdown or talk about transitioning to a tranny or something. Whatever it takes.

The point is, use Canada’s military for your own purposes and try to avoid ever having to put your neck on the line in the process and you can be the beneficiary of an enormous amount of government largesse that can set you up for a prosperous and credentialled future.

For generations, governments have been destroying young people for pointless wars. Today our military is ornamental, and we’re supposed to pretend that it’s not. It’s half-heartedly maintained by a disinterested ruling class, but the threat is always present that some random politician will want to show off and risk someone else’s life doing war in some far-off place. In the meantime, the infrastructure is there for the taking. The pay is good. The skills are solid. The education is available. The pensions are intact.

If you’re a young person starting out in life, ask not what you can do for your country, but what your country can do for you and consider the military, not for honour and flag waving, but for yourself and your future.